Here I Stand...

Waiting Lord

Touch me now

Like never before

Let me change and be transformed

True intimacy

Is what I'm longing for.

Intimacy is the longing

Of my heart Lord

Of this heart.

This week has been a week of earthquakes in my spiritual life. This song has a meaning that is obvious but rarely practiced. True intimacy.

I'm taking a discipleship class...yes I know that sounds weird but it is one of the greatest classes I have taken. We're reading some verses in the Old Testament and how it applies to discipleship. That is where the slap came. "God walked with him" "God walked with them". I want to walk with God!! The original Hebrew speaks of such an intimacy. Even in English I attempted to wrap my brain around walking with the King. We then talked about the separation Adam and Eve made. The class used "pretty" words but Jeff (our professor) used words like, heinous. Why would anyone who gets to walk with God want to do such a thing? I was sitting in class on the verge of tears. I had done that. God's goal is for me to know Him. Not know Him like I know my parents but to know Him in a physically intimate relationship.

I was asked to spend some time meditating on Ezekiel 16 before our next class. This was already a favorite chapter of mine but with the new idea of being intimate with God it brought new life. The beauty of God picking Israel up and taking care of her when no one would then the horror of Israel hurting her love. It is convicting yet brings hope knowing that God wants me to know Him.

I have been trying a practice of spending some time in bed talking to God. I usually reserve devotions for in the morning. I am learning so much just talking and asking Him questions. It makes waking up so much more pleasant.

So here I stand begging God to walk with me.