Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Saying No

Do you remember that scene in 27 Dresses? You know, the scene where Jane (Katherine Heigl) is sitting at the bar with Kevin (James Marsden) and she is complaining about her sister's wedding. She is telling Kevin that she will be stuck with everything. Kevin tells her, "just say no" and she continues to explain her incapability to say no. The scene then continues with working with her to say no and she fails miserably... I'M THAT GIRL. I have the most difficult time saying no to almost anyone.

Slowly I'm learning that it is alright to say no. At work, when asked to stay late, at the beginning of my job I jumped on wanting to make my boss happy and found myself staying almost 8 hours a day on top of classes and homework. In life, when my friends wanted to hang out and go out, I would scrape my coins together so I wouldn't let them down and go out. When my friends would ditch class and ask for notes I would without fail say yes and practically hand over my homework and all the hard work. My friend told me I was in her wedding and I didn't speak up and say I couldn't afford it.

I had to finally say no this weekend. Turning into a little ball of stress I saw myself slipping into crazy Kansas mode...it was not going to be good. I finally am getting my finances in order and trying to "be responsible" and save. I am having to say no when friends want to go to Starbucks, movies or out to dinner. I looked at my finances this week and realized...I can't be in my friends wedding...and her wedding was stressing me out. With the expectations of being there for everything and figuring out...how the heck am I going to afford all this?! I was dreading her text messages and it just wasn't a good match. I had to apply my learning to say no. So, I called her up and told her how I felt...and that I had to say no. As soon as I hung up the phone a weight lifted off my chest. I feel like I can be truly happy for her and her fiance' as their wedding approaches. I'm no longer dreading being around her and am so much happier.

I wish I had learned this "no" word a lot sooner.

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